Gratitude To Parents

Scripture: 1 Timothy 5:8

Sermon preached at Gospel Light Christian Church, Singapore

on 13 December 1992

Introduction: During the recent terminal illness of my father the one regret that I had was that I did not sufficiently repaid my debt of gratitude to him. As I took care of him in his times of "helplessness" I began to appreciate how immeasurably more he had taken care of me in my times of "helplessness". What troubled me most was the fact that he felt bad that he was a "trouble" to his children - shouldn't he simply have expected the debt of gratitude from them? Or has ingratitude from children become such a norm that gratitude, even from a Christian son, was a surprise? I believe that many more parents of Christians are stumbled by their children's ingratitude than by the doctrines of their faith.
Gratitude - a God-given virtue: The virtue of gratitude was strongly impressed in the character of Adam before his fall into sin. After his fall, the "idol of self" has displaced all the other godly virtues (including gratitude) that God had placed in his heart. Though the "idol of self" has displaced the virtue of gratitude from a prominent place in the heart of Adam's descendants, it has been unable to remove it. In fact, gratitude has always been regarded by the major philosophies and religions as one of the most important human virtues. A secular writer, aptly described the effect of ingratitude as being "worse than a serpent's tooth" because few things hurt the human soul more than ingratitude - and the "bite" is more painful when it comes from one who has been dearly loved and cared for.
God expects gratitude from us at all times and exhorts us: "be ye thankful (COL 3:15). Obviously, to be thankful does not end with merely saying "Thank you"! God hates ingratitude and punishes ingrates - Whoso rewardeth evil for good, evil shall not depart from his house (PRO 17;13)

More than gratitude to others, we should be grateful to God because of His unspeakable love for us ("We love him, because he first loved us" 1 JOHN 4:19), and because of what He has done for us ("Giving thanks unto the Father, which hath made us meet to be partakers of the inheritance of the saints in light", COL 1:12).

This gratitude to Him must be evidenced in our lives by tokens ("Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him and bless his name", PSA 100:4, "And let them sacrifice the sacrifices of thanksgiving", PSA 107:22) and by substantial acts of obedience and service.
However, we cannot be grateful to God whom we have not seen with first learning to be grateful to men whom we have seen. King David was grateful to God because he had learnt to be grateful to men (2SA 9:1, 10:2).

Gratitude to parents: Before we can be grateful to others, we need to learn to be grateful to our parents because if we cannot love our parents who have loved us so much and done so much to us, how can we be grateful to others who have done less? And also because learning to be grateful to them early in life is the best training for gratitude to God and men in our latter years. Failure to develop this virtue early in life is the cause of a self-centered ungrateful character that is difficult to correct in later years (even with much Holy Spirit grace).

A Christian's ingratitude to his parents (evidenced by failing to provide their needs) is so abominable to God, that God considers such a person to be one who "hath denied the faith and worse than an infidel" (1 TI 5:8), ie in spite of the person's Christian profession (however orthodox) he has not only displayed unchristian behaviour but behaved even worse than most pagans would.

Even if the person claims that his neglect for his parents is because of his commitment to God, it is unacceptable to God (MARK 7:10-13).

Many times Christians will pay the debt of gratitude so long as it does not overly disrupt their life-style, but will abandon their parents when they are too old and troublesome but God warns us - "despise not thy mother when she is old"(PRO 23:22). Though our parents do not show their hurt when they are ungratefully treated, their heart is deeply hurt because of their great love for us and for all the sacrifices that they have made for us. More so God's heart is "cut" when we ungratefully neglect His honour and disobey His commands. Though we as children should do our best for our parents, we as parents should not expect too much from our children (or any others) in terms of gratitude or we would end up disappointed and bitter. Our "expectation" must be only from the Lord (PSA 62:5).

Conclusion: Consider what our parents have done for us and while there is yet time repay them as best as we can. Similarly, let us "repay our debt" on this earth to God before we are called to our eternal home.